I’ve been having a recurring dream…a nightmare really. I find myself driving to work, north on Snake River Ave. I pass KOZE Radio and find myself becoming anxious but don’t know why. As I pass under the Southway Bridge I see a dirty doomsday bum holding a small sign that I read in slow motion “3 Roundabout Rules To Know”. Then I pass ATK and my anxiety builds. As I come around the corner it finally hits me! EEE, EEE, EEE (I hear the off-key sound of screeching violins – you know, when Janet Leigh gets stabbed in the shower in Hitchcock’s movie classic, Psycho).
I am about to enter another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. What's that signpost up ahead? My next stop -the “Roundabout ZONE” (do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do). I panic when I see the new Roundabout and my head is spinning like the downward spiral from the Twilight Zone.
I know I must make a decision – quick! Choose a lane and stay in it. Left-right? Left-right? LEFT! Crap, even in my dream-state I know that I always pick wrong. When given an either-or-choice I always pick wrong – 100% of the time! I choose the left lane because I’m left handed but I really need to take a right turn. Now I’m hopelessly trapped in the Roundabout circle going round and round and round and round… and I see on the signpost up ahead the words “3 Roundabout Rules To Know”.
Round and round I go. I start to get bored so I turn on the car radio and what do I hear? An oldies song by the The Kingston Trio called the MTA. “Oh, did he ever return, no he never returned and his fate is still unlearned. He will ride forever round the Roundabout. He’s the man who never returned.”
(click image and listen for yourself)
Going round and round and feeling hopeless, I look out and see my AMERICAN INSURANCE building on the corner. Surely my boys or my employees will help me out of this dilemma (remember this is a nightmare, not reality). So I try to signal for help by honking my horn over and over again. Finally, Philip looks out his office window and sees me. He goes to my balcony to get a better look. I feel hopeful but then he leaves.....but, he comes back with Shawn, then the other agents, then all the employees. They all come out on the balcony and look at me. Surely I’ll be saved… but then….they begin to laugh and point at me? My vision morphs into a distorted picture of people’s faces at weird angles; all with big, boisterous open mouthed laughing; all pointing boney, accusing fingers at me. Then they hold up a large sign that reads “3 Roundabout Rules To Know”.
What? I look down at myself.... and realize they are all laughing at me because I’M NAKED! I’m horrified….WAKE-UP! WAKE-UP! PLEASE WAKE-UP…..
P O P!
Breathing hard and covered in a cold sweat, I finally wake-up from this horrible nightmare. I felt like Ebenezer Scrooge awakening from the nightmare of 3 Christmas Ghosts in Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. I immediately ran to my computer, researched Roundabout rules of the road and wrote the article "3 Roundabout Rules To Know".
Don’t suffer my fate! Click and read it for yourself. Lower your anxiety and save yourself from finger pointing and laughter in your own Roundabout nightmares. You've been warned....